Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." Living with Spinal Muscular Atrophy


I thought the summer was going pretty smooth but seems like things keep happening all the time, Makes me wonder if in my past life if I was really bad or something. I am truly not a "WHINER" !! I know I try to stay as positive as I can but with the situations that keep finding their way to us makes you wonder. As,  Mother Teresa put it best "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."  Mother Teresa was a wise woman . I have used that quote before because I think about that all the time.  I have to endure a lot the past few years. At some point we all face trying times and feel powerless to be able to get back on track again. If you give up and quit trying you will not get back there. I seem to be doubting myself more and more these days. Then, I pick myself brush myself off and continue on. Why I am I like that? I think its because of the life I have had since a child and because Lizzy helps me realize I can not just throw in the towel. I lost my arrogance from earlier years and replaced it humility the older I get .  If that makes sense.  I take each day as it comes. 


Its been a rough year. My husband does seasonal outside work like mowing, cutting trees down, weed eating etc just so, we can get by. Twelve bucks an hour these days is not the best wage in these trying times but it helps pay the bills. My mother has literally emotional drained me. This last weekend was bad with her. She is not well  but.. she  has went to the extreme recently. I think a lot is she wants the attention. With her recent mental frame of mind it makes it harder every time to deal with her. She has been as bad as a child. Well, worse !! Lizzy is a child and she does not act like my mother. I love my mom but too much is too much . Then, the event that happened this weekend to my husband was something I prepared myself for many years ago expecting it to happen  a long time ago NOT NOW. He is a rebel. No doubt why I married him was for the wild life he led. We have been married since Dec 5, 1974.He is 57 !!  He has mellowed with age. ....  I thought.   NOT!! He was out at my daughter's house and he flipped the 4 wheeler. He was taken by ambulance to our local ER and we spent 7 hours there last night. He had been laying across the lake for over an hour and half alone with out anyone hearing him whistling .  He finally found his cell phone called one of my girls and  they all ran to his side. Leaving me with Lizzy and freaking out on what was going on. He has a broken collar bone, 6 broken ribs and a fractured pelvic bone. He will be fine after weeks of healing. Yesterday,I was concerned for his life . Now today... I am concerned about how to pay the bills next month and the months after.  I get paid just a bit over $600 a month. The income tax we have been living on is almost all gone because we have lived on that also. What are we going to do? I am going to try to do his job mowing myself. Lets see. I need to lose some of this carb weight I gained . Might be fun or it might kick my hiney. 
I had made home made pulled pork, cole slaw and potato salad for Dawns on the forth where we were at when his accident happened. Since,  we were at the hospital my food was all taken home  with people!!  LOL At least they all liked my cooking. (Trying to add SOME humor to last evening.)

Lizzy was coming down with something Saturday and since we caught it quick "nipped it in the bud sorta speak" she was doing great yesterday. She is pretty tired today because she stayed awake  last nightwaiting for me to say prayers and said "She really missed me." Sweet Child. Bless her heart.
Paul is slightly better tonight.  He wound on his pelvic bone looked a bit better. I have to clean his wounds. I did it but it took everything I had but I did it !!I dont usually do wound duty!!  I get all light headed doing any kind of thing with the skin, blood  and bone thingy..... ewww.  The docs last night are worried about pneumonia with the 6 broken ribs.. Paul says" This is about as bad as taken care of your Mom" I sad "No, Paul I am supposed to take care of you when you get hurt." This does not bother me. You are my husband. I said "I can take care of you and Lizzy no problem. " WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!

The Casey Anthony Verdict shocked the heck out of me. I do not believe it. Are these people crazy to let her back out on the street. Makes no sense to me. Now , they will probably make a movie about her, write a book and she will be a millionaire. Commit a crime , become acquitted and become a millionaire. I see something REALLY wrong with this picture don't you? hmmmm?  Just hmmmmmm?

Please add Paul to your healing prayers. Also, add Julia Kay who has Spinal Fusion on Thursday.

One tip: Use : 100% Pure & Natural Ubiquinol as Coq10 supplement. It gets to the blood stream faster and is better for you!! I get the gels and poke it with a lancet and put it in Lizzy's food mixture while making it. I use 50mg Swanson Brand and going to up her very soon. 
"We believe in miracles because we live with one!"
www.our-sma-angels.com/elizabeth

1 comment:

CureSMA4Stella said...

You of course have our prayers Jeana!!! I wish we lived a little closer so we could help!!!! Hugs and prayers to you all!!!