Thirty-five years of marriage - Living with SMA

This is a us at our 25th Anniversary party. 
Today is my husband and mine 35th  wedding anniversary. Thirty five years is a long time with one man. We have been through so much together and not so long ago things were looking pretty good for our future at the time of this picture and up until 2003. Then, there was a turning point. I quit my jobs because of an injury to my back . I had worked two jobs. Lizzy was born two weeks before my injury. Then, I did not go back to work because I needed to take care of Lizzy and fight for her.  I will never ever regret my decison. 
Then, Paul was losing his job last year and was laid off most of the month of December and the plant closed down and was sold and he was laid off for good March 5, 2009. He was not hired back because of his union involvement even though his work record was exceptional. The place is getting ready to close here soon we hear again. A Spanish company bought it and they treat employees badly , cut the pay, busted the union etc. We have enough headaches now so maybe it was  good thing he did not get hired back. I just wish he could of found a job soon after his layoff.

Thirty five years ago we had no kids..... we did everything together. Paul was the love of my life. He still is but we get along now like my grandparents did.
I was sixteen years old and married. I remember imagining our lives when we were in our fifties. We are there.  We swore we would be together forever. He rescued me. It does not seem that long ago. Where did all the time go?  Now , he hides out in his shop and I take care of Lizzy and the  house-hold . His health is not so good  these days. I worry about him so much too. Where do we go from here?

Tonight,  I made ribs and my own homemade BBQ sauce for dinner. We can not afford to go out and eat. I am sitting on the home pc and he is on his playing one of Elizabeth's  games right now
 Did I think it would end up this way? Never in a 100 years. If someone told me my life would be like this I would not of believed it.
 I used to be  very arrogant not that long ago . I was very good at everything  I did and that helped me in my jobs.  I did not like that person I was.. but I was secure.  Now, Fat and broke..... Those words hit my heart like a ton of bricks.  I was a "go getter" from the time I young. I also did "beyond the dot thing" "Over achiever at work"  I was called all of the above from my employers.  Now, I worry about if we will have the money to pay the house payment or the electric bills. Does not seem fair does it? I guess they say we make our own destiny. I do not know how I made mine but I  guess I did. I have been crying all day and can not hardly think straight. I did not wake up all upset today. I was in a good mood. I was up early  I asked Paul a question  this morning and he tells me "He is 20 bucks short on the house payment" .  I lost it right there and then. He did not expect this out of me. I figured things out like I always do and we are okay but I did not know things were really this bad. I knew it has been rough but not this bad.  He used to stash money(saved for emergencies) all the time and the" Stash is GONE" and has been for awhile. Taking a deep breath  I know we will get through this.  I know we will.We always do. I know this because I have faith. Faith has gotten me through so much these last 6 years. We believe in miracles because.......
I got to get it together to make it all work.  I have to be there for Elizabeth to make sure she gets what she needs. I have to be there for my family.

Paul is going to trade school here soon and things will be good hopefully in few short months. Lizzy is doing great. We have our home. We have family. I have better friends than I have ever had. That is all that counts.
So, I guess I took the day off to feel sorry for myself and I had no reason to. Wow, what a day wasted.
Thanks for listening.

"We believe in miracles because we live with one"
www.our-sma-angels.com/elizabeth